Sometimes
I daydream
about running away.
Somewhere isolated
and quiet
where there aren’t people around.
I’ve dreamt about it
for years
since I was little.
Maybe as young as ten.
I think about nature
and being alone
with God.
I used to think
maybe it would be better
that way.
Maybe loneliness
in isolation
is less painful
than loneliness
in a crowded place.
I dream
of the places
I would go.
Perhaps
the mountains
or the beach,
the desert,
or even the woods.
Somewhere
in the middle of
nowhere.
I tried sharing this
with a friend
once
the urge
to run away.
She didn’t seem to understand.
Since being married to Moises
the feeling comes less often
but it still happens.
I feel guilty for it,
so I’ve never told him.
I worry it will hurt him.
I used to think
maybe
we could run
away together,
but after being stuck at home
in isolation
for so long
I’m not so sure.
Maybe
if we had nature
to be in
and could walk around
freely
it would work.
Here
we are stuck
inside
in such a small
space.
Tensions
can run high
and patience
can run low.
Perhaps
the open skies
and fresh air
would help.
Actually,
I know it would.
So we’ll go together.
Sometimes
I daydream
about running away,
but
I never do.
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