A couple of weeks ago we were out of town visiting Moi’s parents. While we were having lunch with his mom, she asked me how my dad was doing. I ended up having to excuse myself because I was so overwhelmed with emotion.
Earlier that weekend Moisés and I were out of town with my parents and I could see the progression of my dad’s Parkinson’s. His tremor in his hand seemed worse, he was slower (much slower), and irritable. All symptoms of Parkinson’s disease. I had been holding it all in because it had been unfortunately, a stressful weekend for my parents since their vehicle broke down while we were out of town. So, when Mrs. Garza asked me if my dad was “doing good” I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I completely lost it.
I went to the guest room as the tears came pouring out. Moi came to check on me and asked what was going on. I told him what I had been feeling all weekend and wept in a way I hadn’t in months. I felt the sorrow from deep within as I lay folded forward on the bed. I wanted nothing more than for Moisés to wrap me in his arms and hold me or place his hand on my back to comfort me. But he just sat there looking (and I later learned feeling) completely helpless.
I couldn’t stop. Everything hurt. I cried out to God, Lord what do I do?
Suddenly, it felt as if a hand was placed gently on my back, but it wasn’t Moi’s hand, and I felt a peace wash over me.
I heard the whispers of the Lord, I am with you always even till the end of the age. I am with your dad always even till the end of the age. You need to trust Me.
Over and over again these words ran through my thoughts until I surrendered my emotions, thoughts, fears and heartaches at the feet of Jesus. Lord, I trust You, I thought. Then I felt Moi’s hand on my back.
Right then and there I knew I had just encountered God in a new way.
Before getting married I knew the temptation to rely on my husband and him alone would be there. And I believe I gave into it. Nearly our whole first year of marriage when I didn’t know what to do, when my world felt like it was falling apart, I turned to Moisés and he always seemed to have the answers or words of wisdom. But in this moment, this moment of utter sorrow and desperation he was helpless of what to say or do. And in this moment the Holy Spirit was there to say, I am here. Turn to Me.
It was a beautiful reminder my husband is only human and there’s only so much he can do or say. God on the other hand is God. He’s far greater. He knows my thoughts and my heart. He is in complete control and He never lets anything go to waste.
I will never forget this moment of the Lord’s incredible grace. This reminder to trust in God, lean on Him, and turn to Him.
“Then Jesus came near and said to them, ‘All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.’”