Sometimes I wish the world could just stop. With all the deadlines, expectations, loss, sickness, and death. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by life I crawl into bed under the covers and lie there begging God to make my mind stop. God, please make my thoughts stop.
It’s always going. Always running. Especially lately, to the point where late nights are inevitable and even when I do get sleep it’s restless.
Do you get ever get weary of life? Because I do. The truth is I’m tired. And sometimes I ask God to take me home. Can’t I just come home? It would be so much easier.
I haven’t written for the last couple of weeks. There’s a lot going on in the world obviously and it feels like there’s a lot going on in my life, so much of it is so personal and although directly tied to my life, not necessarily my “story” to share. I haven’t figured out a way to write about these things and I don’t know that I’ve truly wanted to. All I can say is I’ve been overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with grief, uncertainties of the future, health concerns for loved ones, feelings of loneliness, longing desires of my heart, the costs of living overseas, and the wrench that has been thrown in our plan for raising support.
But every time I get to this point I hear the Lord’s whispers, “I am with you always to the end of the age…be still and know that I am God…the Lord is with you mighty warrior…be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Here in my bed under the blankets when I’m too overwhelmed to function God meets me. He comforts me. He holds me. And His peace washes over me. It doesn’t mean I jump out of bed ready to face the world, but it does help me to get through the day. So I cling to Him knowing the suffering of this life may feel long but it is so little compared to joy of the next.
“Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease.”